When I lived in San Diego, in the late 80s, though the 90s, I and all of my friends and acquaintances hugged, and kissed each other on the lips every time we met. We lived in parts of town where it wasn’t unusual. I don’t know about everyone, but I only had sex with my partner…some were more sexually explorative than I, but that was irrelevant to our friendship.

I suppose that the difference is whether a kiss on the lips is “normal” among the people you associate with.

I was in NC for a couple of years when, at the end of an AA meeting, when most attendees have a hug, and chat for a bit, when a young woman, whom I had been chatting with, leaned in and puckered up. Out of habit, “muscle-memory,” I kissed her. It meant nothing to me, other than that we were aquainted. She thought that we were, suddenly, “a couple”! At the next meeting, I had to explain to her my background…

After 20 years here I’ve learned to not kiss people on the lips, unless I’m actually “interested” in them. It was a moderately difficult change, but, “when in Rome”…..

I’ve learned to not place my way of navigating life, and the people in it, above, or below, the habits and understanding of others. Most importantly, I’ve learned to speak my feelings without fear or shame. People can then easily decide whether they want to be my friend…or not.

Turns out, it’s not about how people treat me. It’s all about how I treat people.😉

Peace Love Kindness Respect the more you give the more you get 😍