This is a wonderful piece of writing.
I'm happy to see such a good grasp of what's at play with this issue, a very personal issue that gets batted around by multitudes who haven't the whisper of a clue of what they are spouting off about.
Most people consider themselves experts on other people's lives. It'd be nice if they worked out their own problems with half as much enthusiasm 😉
I'm considerably older than you,(63), and have been dealing with this issue all of my life.
Sometimes I think that it all comes down to the fact that most people have no idea what it is to love another person.
The Buddha explained it like this; If you like a flower, you may admire it. You may want to possess it. You may pluck it from the place where it is growing in the way that it needs to. You take it home and put it in a vase and add water to help it struggle to survive in the way that you want it to, for your pleasure. You may be proud that you have taken care of the flower, giving it water and putting it in a place where it will get sun every day. You may be proud that you have done this 'good' thing.
When it begins to wilt and die, you remember that you plucked it from the place where it was meant to grow, in the way that it needed to. Ah, but it's only one flower. You can always go back and rip another one from it's home.
When you love a flower you will walk by it every day and enjoy it's beauty. You will make sure that it has enough water, and loosen the soil so that it is free to grow in the way that it needs to. You don't interfere with it's growing and thriving because you know that if you try too hard to control it, it will slowly wilt and die.
Each sentient being is a special and unique miracle of life. When you love someone you help them grow in the way that they need to. Interfering too much, in order to please yourself, in order to force them to grow in the way you want them to, you run the very real risk of slowing and twisting their growth in ways that you never intended, leading to their spiritual, mental, and eventually, their physical, death.
Love is never harsh or cruel.
Love is always kind and gentle, lovingly supportive and never selfish.
People, even children, must be free to find their own path through life. If you love them you support them in growing the way they need to.
It's selfishly arrogant to think that you know how someone else should grow.
Each individual must find their own way.
No one can be truly happy, reach their full potential, by being harshly restricted.
It's very sad to me that so many LGBT youth have to struggle against such resistance, when all that anyone needs to thrive is love and freedom.
Real, selfless love.
Real, unfettered, freedom.
Oh, in case you were wondering, I was pronounced a boy at birth.
I transitioned in 1993, in San Diego.
These days I live in my home state of NC.
All of my friends are cis-gender women.
Over the last thirty years I've suffered all of the slings and arrows of being a woman in our society. (#metoo)
I've found my life, my place, by being loving and kind, gentle and always having compassionate understanding for others,(with boundaries of course).
Getting sober and clean in a twelve step recovery group, and continuing my spiritual growth in practicing the Dharma of Buddhism, has saved me.
I don't know how your story, your path is going go, but I think that you are a wise enough young person to do an outstanding job of it.
Be true to yourself. You are the only one who will.
Peace Love Kindness Respect the more you give the more you get 😍 start with yourself 😉 because you deserve it ❤️🙏🏼 (you really do. I promise.)
--weezi--💜🌈🙏🏼🌻🥳🤠
PS: I never like to add this, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t share one of the most important quotes I’ve heard, “I’m willing to lose anyone I have to so that I never again lose myself.”
-Glennon Doyle Melton -💜🌈🙏🏼
