Thank you, Yael.
It’s been so long since I’ve broken up with anyone that I have to reach far back in my memory.
I won’t relate those stories here, in a response...
Having come out of my haze of alcoholism and unworthiness only a little over three years ago, I’ve been trying to come to grips with the idea of another relationship. It rarely seems worth the risk.
After being an escort all those years ago, I’ve been reluctant to engage in hookups. Seems too similar to my previous career, which I grew to loathe and led me to a suicide attempt.
The idea of an intimate relationship is a scary subject for me, fraught with ghosts from the past.
One of my best friends and I have agreed that we’re too afraid of another intimate relationship to try it together. We’ve settled into a close friendship. We check on each other every morning and throughout the day.
She depends on me to, "always know what to say to make me feel better".
We love each other dearly, but for both of us, still reeling from our last bad relationship with men, it feels like too much of a risk.
Of course we’re a little older. She’s 58 and I’m 63.
Today I was expecting to see a friend who was going to meet me at the 1:00 twelve step recovery meeting, and, in her words, "hang out at your place".
I’ve only recently learned what "hang out" means in the modern vernacular... 😂

She is 53 and rides a bicycle everywhere she goes. It’s much too cold to ride a bike today.
I suppose I’ve been in too many longer term relationships.
(I’ve rambled on again!)
I have, in AA meetings, a lot of hookup offers, but knowing how lesbian relationships so often start, I’m reluctant, to say the least.
I mean, a cute little lady, upon my asking her why she’s going to the bathroom so often, says, "Oh, I think I must be having a UTI, or maybe I’m dehydrated", as she places her hand on her lower belly, sliding down to slightly push against the top of her Mons Pubis, plainly visible through her yoga pants, devilish little smile, head down a little as looks up at me through her long eyelashes..
I give a mental sigh, saying, "Well, you know what to do. Grapefruit juice and lots of water."(smile, turn and walk away...as she turns and pours herself a cup of coffee;)
Ah well, I enjoy reading your work my dear, as always,
Love, --weezi--💜🌈🙏🏼🌻