Thank you “Stark”. I must admit that I expected 'angry dyke’, but I was pleasantly surprised at the depth and thoughtful nature of your essay.

I’m a life-long alcoholic. Over my recent, continuing, two-plus years of sobriety, I’ve gotten in touch with myself and have have been shedding patriarchal expectations.

My makeup is collecting dust. I don’t know why I don’t just toss it. I shaved my head, and just wear a cap on it when I go out.

Oh! I almost forgot . I’m a trans-woman. I transitioned in 1993, been 'passing' ever since.

I’ve come to realize that I can only truly love women…After being a call girl in the 90s, I had a very bad habit of always being with men,(they are easy…until they become difficult).

I haven’t deepened my voice or, (goddess forbid), taken any testosterone, so I’m still regarded as a woman, and that’s fine with me. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Nor would I ever want that old body back. In fact, because of osteoporosis, I still take estrogens.

Thank goodness I never got any kind of surgeries, either.

I must say that I only learned how to say 'no’, after being sober for nearly a year. Having grown up with a widowed mother and three older sisters, I got all of the early childhood training that girls have programmed into them, the Patriarchal Grooming Program, if you will.

I always enjoy your work, and will be looking forward to seeing more from you.

--weezi--💖🙏🏼💜🙏

PS: Men are afraid of what anyone, fully invested in, and at or near the top of, a Patriarchal Dominance Hierarchy and it’s attendant rape-culture, gender binary and hetero-normative sexuality, is terrified of…ie; losing control over those whom they consider to be 'beneath' them. Their fear is so powerful and deep, because somewhere in their minds they know what they would do, suddenly given the chance, to anyone who treated them the way that they treat us…and minority people, and anyone else whom they see as, “other”, someone to be stepped on, “kept in line”, in a word, oppressed, thereby ensuring their position “above”.

Fear is the most dangerous emotion in anyone who seeks to control, to dominate…it can trigger an uncontrolled, hysterical, fight-or-flight response…dangerous…

--weezi--💖🙏🏼💜🙏