Thank you Oak.

I remember the anxiety, outright fear and dread. Somehow, with age, experience, and studying Tibetan Buddhism, working on my own feelings and thought habits, I’ve managed to grow past all of that.

I’m not suggesting, in any way, that other GNC people should be able to easily get to where I am now, quite the opposite.

We each have our own path to grow through.

After presenting as a feminine woman for decades, I’ve recently been simply not worrying about it.

My physical appearance, due to decades of hormone therapy,(which continues, mostly, due to osteoporosis), is obviously 'female' in shape. I learned counter-tenor in the 90s to change my voice, and don’t feel any need to try to change it back to a deep baritone.

For an AMAB, speaking/singing in counter-tenor causes the adam’s apple to shrink and just disappear after a few years.

After 4 years with my local AA group, I’m not sure who knows that I’m trans and who doesn’t. Well, I know who I’ve told, I just don’t know who they’ve told, and no longer care.

I’ve divulged the fact several times, but I still run into people who don’t have a clue. Apparently the gossip-mill isn’t as active as my former self assumed.

The most important thing I’ve learned is that I am very important to me. Other people are very important to themselves.

Anything that they think about me is very fleeting, a very minor distraction at best.

I recently buzzed all of my hair off. I usually wear a ball-cap. I’m comfortable with myself as I am. That’s the whole point of all of this, isn’t it?

I spent my entire life, anxiety-ridden over what I looked like to other people, what I sounded like to them, how they perceived me.

Turns out, in my sixth decade of life, that all of the stuff I ripped myself to sheds over, is,(mostly), irrelevant.

It was very relevant, in that it’s what I had to go through to reach the place that I’m in now.

My little stream of consciousness scribbling here may leave one with the impression that I’m saying to just be satisfied with who you are now, and not go through all of the bother. Nothing could be further from the truth.

I would not be where I am now without going through everything that I did.

I like what I’ve made of my body. I wouldn’t change it. I’m gratified that I’ve had all of the experiences, good and bad, that contributed each their bit to build the old creature who holds this phone in her hands.

What I am saying is, “don’t despair”. Don’t get too balled-up over this stuff. Our path is our path.

I have a feeling that you are going to be great, in fact, I think that you are already an amazing person!

--weezi--💖🙏🏼💜🙏🥳