Should I buy a pussy or a car?

I’m sixty years old. I’ll be sixty one in October.

I’ve been on spironolactone,(anti-androgen), and estradiol for 26 years. I learned counter-tenor to feminize my voice 26/25 years ago. Counter-tenor has had the additional effect of making my Adam’s Apple shrink until it’s gone.

I’m completely undetectable, until I get undressed, pull my panties down. My , now little, peepee and testicles go right up inside me when I pull up my panties. I like to wear the cotton, with a little bit of spandex ones, but plain cotton, bikini panties work just fine.

I was never, ever, a hairy person. I waxed my arms and legs about a dozen times, back then, and it just never came back, except for the tiny little hairs that can only be seen with a good light and a dark background. It’s not necessary,or worth the trouble, to shave or wax, and hasn’t been for well over twenty years.

Apparently, there’s a genetic component to my gender-mix up. In elementary school, when the girls grew faster than the boys, I did too.

When I began HRT, my testosterone levels were barely at the bottom edge of “normal”, for a male.

I’ve always been attracted to men, but I didn’t like being a gay man. It didn’t feel right. It just felt wrong, to me…Not in the sense of some moral thing, but, just, somehow, not quite right. I always knew that I was a girl, anyway. I tried the gay man route, but, no, just not me, not “right”. I couldn’t make that compromise and continue to live.

I’ve always been “pretty”, attractive…all my life people, men and women, have wanted to fuck me. Even at sixty, still.

I never needed 'facial feminization surgery’. I never developed brow ridges, or any obviously masculine bone structures. My breasts grew to a “B and a half”, almost a “C”, naturally.

Before I got so old, my 5’11" frame quickly, under the influence of the estrogens, gained the measurements of, 42/28/42. My waist is 36 now, down from 38. I’m working on it.

I have long, thin, arms and legs.

The men that I have had sex with seem to be more than satisfied, quite enthusiastic, really, with my appearance. I suspect that the women in their lives are not enthusiastic about anal penetration. They obviously enjoy it a great deal with me. Some of them don’t want to see the “male bits” any more than they have to, others don’t seem to care, but don’t ever touch them.

I have to explain to them that my penis never grows or gets hard, and the fluid constantly coming out of it does not mean that I have ejaculated. I have other kinds of orgasms. If I’m lucky, and they are attentive, rolling waves of full-body orgasms consume me.

There are many men who are frightened of me, almost hysterically afraid of discovering that they are attracted to a “chick with a dick”.

They are very attracted to me, until I tell them what’s between my legs. Then they recoil, as if they’ve touched a hot stove.

So…I have just gotten my federal student loans forgiven. The letter said that they will “direct” the payee(s) to return all of the payments, for the last ten years or more.

There’s a surgeon, Dr Macfee, at Duke University Medical Center in Durham, who does vaginoplasties.

My Medicare will pay for the hospital fees. I will only have to pay the surgeon’s fee.

As stated, I’m two months from being 61 years old. If I don’t do it now, I’ll be too old, soon.

If I had a husband who didn’t care about the dangling bits, I’d use the money for a new car, or just save it.

If I got the vagina, I wouldn’t want anything to do with a man who would have been frightened of the bits…anyone so ruled by fear just won’t do.

I don’t go to a gym, or have any reason to change in front of other women.

If I die in a crash or something, I won’t give a shit if they “dead-name” me, because I’ll be dead!

I’m sober and clean, and just not the criminal type, so I seriously doubt that I’ll ever be arrested.

I have a decision to make. I just don’t know what to do.

If anyone has any ideas or suggestions, anything that I haven’t thought of, please let me know in the responses? 😍😘😇🙏🏼

Update (01/09/2020); The companies holding the loans screwed me. Surprised? 🙄🤣

I’m okay though. High bp, mini-stroke last year, a heart attack three years ago, smoking like a Soviet steel-mill for 46 years…probably a bad idea to go under the knife…I’m good 😊.

😍😘😇🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼