Okaaayy…I know, from decades of experience, that many, perhaps most, men are not sexual predators.
However, when the overwhelming majority are larger and stronger, and you know, having learned the hard way, that there are a *lot* of creeps out there… Add to that the fact that the predators are almost always very good at *pretending* to be a good guy, it becomes easy to understand why we women have to be perpetually suspicious of all men.
We have become very good, (to the point that it has become an almost unconscious survival skill), at picking up on every clue as to a man’s intentions, his character, or lack thereof.
When so very many women have been abused/raped by said predators, and even if you haven’t been raped, you know that it happens to a lot of other women, it’s a basic survival strategy to be suspicious of every man that you don’t know, and know very well.
And then, there’s PTSD. Many women suffer from it, due to having been abused/raped. More often than you might imagine, only one “incident” is required to cause acute PTSD. Many, many women and girls have suffered a severe enough “incident” multiple times…
Our society, world-wide, has been structured in a way that rationalizes that, “she deserved it”, “she was careless/shouldn’t have been there”, “dressed like that!? She was asking for it!”, “she’s slept with him multiple times, this last time, she was just mad at him, afterwards, and cried rape to punish him! He tells us that’s what happened.” There are many varieties of this kind of “victim-blaming”.
The vast majority of rapes, I have absolutely no doubt, go unreported.
When I was raped, my female friends hugged me and held me while I cried on their shoulders. Not a single one of them even mentioned going to the police. We all know that, without significant bruising and/or bleeding,(or even with), the consequences of going to the police and having an investigation, are always more traumatizing than the original “incident”. All women and an alarming number of girls learn this, early in life.
Having imparted the above information, is it any wonder that large numbers of women are suspicious, always, without even a conscious thought, of all men?
The only way to even get started on alleviating the “toxic masculinity problem” is for all of the good men in the world to actively police the bad apples. Put some real effort into it. The bad guys are making it very hard on the good guys.
We must routinely suspect every single one of you, because if we are wrong, one single time, the consequences can be devastating.
The “bad actors”, the sexual predators, are men’s real enemies. I’ve seen, over and over, the “good guys”, standing by, listening to the “bad guys” tell all about their predatory conquests, and say nothing, except to chuckle, “wink wink, nudge nudge…” , afraid to appear less than masculine to the “alpha predator”, or the other “good guys”.
This “system”, this dynamic, is passed down the generations by the bullies, who learned it from their elders.
I know this to be a fact, having been a “boy”, then “man”, for the first 35 years of my life.
I know the women’s side of the issue, having been fully “passing” as female, for the last 25 years.
You can take my word for it, this is exactly how it is. We *believe* other women because we know what the consequences are of reporting an assault. The consequences, the “blowback” is so severe, on an already traumatized woman, that false claims are so rare as to be practically non-existent!
Peace Love Kindness Respect the more you give the more you get 😍
😍😘😇🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
