My husband, Darryl, with a twinkle in his eyes, and a cute little smile, glancing down, would say “Louise. Think you could get the wrinkles out of that?”
That’s as far as he ever went, and never touched my head with more than a loving caress.I was 35, and in my prime, in every way. He was, at 60, still quite the 'stud’, despite the slight, firm, belly. He was, apparently, one of those men who, naturally, had very high testosterone levels, and was as strong as a bull, but always gentle with me, loving, and tender.
It never even occurred to me that he could, possibly, ever, be violent…. until…the chiropractor I was working for decided to suddenly close his business. The Doc said that, due to extenuating circumstances, he could only pay his employees a half-paycheck on this last, and final pay-day. The doc was a “slimy” kind of creep.(I’m pretty sure that my breasts didn’t need “adjustment”)
I declined the offer, and said, “I’ll be right back.” I was thinking that perhaps Darryl could talk to him.
I went home. Daryl was taking a day off from his normal activity of searching for rare books.
When I told him about the situation, his normally open, kind, expression “closed”, became, not mean, not enraged, but determined, 'all business’.
Darryl got up and marched out the door, got into the driver’s seat of my car,(it was turbo-charged). I rushed to get in the passenger side.
The drive wasn’t erratic or wild, but we were there in an instant, it seemed.(maybe it was wild, I was feeling Darryl)
Darryl didn’t say a word. I didn’t either. I was in shock. I was not afraid. He never gave me any cause to be. I was simply observing, recognizing, a 'man on a mission’.
Darryl strode in, walked up to the doc, looked up at the taller, heavier man, and said, quite calmly, “You will give Louise her full check.”
The doc, stammering a bit, said that he just “really couldn’t afford to.”
Then, this kind, loving man, this man that I had never felt anything but tenderness from, grasped the doc by the lapels and lifted him off the floor, against the wall, his toes barely touching the floor. Darryl said, still quite calmly and evenly, barely audible, “You will give Louise her full check.”
(gotta take a break. I have goosebumps and tears)
(WOW! Nine days to one year sober, and the emotions fill me to near-bursting. Fifty minutes later, a snot-filled halfapapertowel, and “triopolitan triple-chocolate ice cream” for brunch, some time on the sofa cuddling with Trevor and Blaze,(the cutest, most loving Yorkies in the universe), my hands still trembling a little,a cigarette 🙄, and I think I can get back to you…there’s a slight, not entirely unpleasant, pressure in my head, and the calming feeling of what I assume are endorphins…)
(okay, my lovelies, it’s been an hour, but I need to lie down on the sofa for a bit…),(with Trevor and Blaze),(still a little 'tremblie’)
The doc fumbled in his desk drawer and produced his personal checkbook. He wrote, with trembling hands, a check for the full amount that I was owed.
The sudden aggression displayed by my tender, gentle, lover frightened me. I wasn’t afraid for *my* safety, simply shocked and afraid of such raw aggression, something that has never been a part of me, ever. It was something that I had never seen or felt, even slightly, from Darryl.
We got in the car, went to the bank that the check drew from. It cleared.
We went home, having still not spoken a single word since I had, earlier, come home and told him what was going on.
Still feeling the aftereffects of the incident, we went inside our home.
Darryl sat in his big chair and patted his lap, an expression on his face that I can’t quite think of how to describe, sad, a little fearful, seeking forgiveness, but not begging for it, definitely needing comfort.
When I sat in his lap, still that little, nagging question, “am I too heavy?”, placing my arms around his neck and snuggling into his powerful chest, opening a few buttons on his shirt to run my fingers into the thick, white, long, straight, hair on his chest, a patch between his hard pecs, and kiss him lightly on the cheek, I found that he was trembling, ever so slightly, deep inside.
(goosebumps again)….(I’m back)
Eyes closed, he turned his face toward me, pressing his cheek gently into my lips, and heaved an enormous, shuddering, sigh, the trembling beginning to subside.
After a while,(I really can’t really estimate the length of time), time ceased to be a thing, he picked me up. We went to the bedroom.
That is the only time that we made love that he didn’t first take a shower and brush his teeth.
(oh Goddess, I can’t take any more of this, right now. Tears are streaming and my mouth is doing that stupid cry-baby thing. Gotta stop before I get snot on my t-shirt)
😍😘😇🙏
