“male”? — ”female”? I give up — Enby…😁At 61, I’ve lived half my life “as a woman”, half my life “as a man”. I am, at this point, tired of worrying about how I am “perceived” by others.
1979…
1995…
1995…
2019
Completely disregarding the Patriarchal Dominance Hierarchy’s Gender-Binary, in it’s entirety is my response after trying to “fit”in, for 61 effing years.
My voice, after thirty or so years, is just my voice. I changed it from baritone to contralto/soprano 25 years ago, by learning counter tenor. I could change it back to baritone with some time to retrain it, but why?
My life-long quest has been to simply be comfortable, “at ease”. I now see that, for me, that means, not fighting, furiously, against, the onus of the “Gender Binary”, not fighting for it, either.
My conclusion, the place that I’ve settled into, after all of the wild gyrations and personal turmoil, is to simply stop “playing the game”.
I’ve been violently raped, “as a man”. I’ve been less physically violently raped, “as a woman”. It was less physical because, after years of experience, I knew better than to try to fight a hulking “muscle-head”.🙄 Besides, being “man-handled” and rudely penetrated was nothing new, anyway, after being forced,(by that annoying little habit of eating food, having a roof over my head…u no…), to be an independent call girl in 1990s San Diego.
Porno obsessed, “typical” males are pretty much all the same…they are simple creatures…simple, but often dangerous…Don’t get it twisted, rape is always a reprehensible act of violence, and I was traumatized, every single time. I have learned, finally, that I am not required to hold on to the trauma, allowing it to twist me into a caricature of the “me” that, in the final analysis, only wants some real Peace of mind.
Embarking on what may be the last chapter in my life, Peace of mind, self-love, confidence that I can handle anything that comes my way, and confidence that I’m not inclined to complicate things for myself, is a refreshing way to feel. There’s still a tiny bit of uncertainty about what will happen in the mysterious future, but confident that I can make it through anything, I can finally, truly, just relax.
The past is gone. I no longer regret anything in it. I kinda like who I am, now, and what happened is what made me who I am, now.
Peace Love Kindness Respect the more you give the more you get 😍 start with yourself 😉 because you deserve it! (you really do. I promise ❤️🙏🏼)
Love; Weezie 😁❤️😇 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
PS; in the past I have “liked” men, mostly because I was following the dictates of the Patriarchal Gender Binary. However, I never lost my absolute “love” of women. I no longer desire men. I now, quite naturally, fully feel and acknowledge my great attraction to women, exclusively. I am, however, frightened, because I tend to fall *head over heels* *in love* with a woman.That’s scary…
Oh, if you’d like to change your voice from “male” to “female”. “Save your money, don’t go to the show”. And don’t give it to a “professional”🙄…
“Male to female voice change.” by WeeziSbaby https://link.medium.com/24sKkXx2o7
