I’ve just re read your essay.

I’m a trans woman. I “pass”.

I, personally, am a little put-off by many other transwomen.

Their lingering, and obvious, masculinity is a bit frightening to me.

I was raised by a strong, but unconditionally loving mother, and three older sisters. Did that “make” me trans? Irrelevant. I am.

As a pre-teen, I remember an old, country dentist, apon removing his instruments of torture from my mouth, say, “There, now, show me your pretty smile!”

People often referred to me with feminine pronouns, not intending insult, just as a matter of fact way, sometimes catching themselves, eyebrows raised, apologizing, with a benign smile. I can only remember being suprised, myself, vaguely wondering why it mattered, for only a second…

It was when I entered a public junior high school, that the full weight of societies gender expectations came crashing down on me, beginning 45 years of abject terror and existential misery, with a bit of a break in the 90s, in San Diego, though that was fraught with rejection by family, friends, and businesses that I tried to get a job with, even gay-owned businesses. I was forced by circumstance to engage in prostitution, a highly paid call-girl, yes…but just as soul-crushing as for any human being who is forced to put a price on their dignity.

I’m 60, sober, and learning, finally, to “adult”, in every way possible, especially emotionally.

I still cringe at the sight and sound of many trans-’women’, but I try to catch myself, reminding myself that they are dealing with the greatest internal battle of their lives.

Be kind, be respectful, the person you are talking about is, quite possibly, engaged in an internal, life-or-death struggle that you know nothing about.

Don’t project your own, internal fears and insecurities on others. Don’t 'split hairs’, furiously rationalizing and picking others apart, simply to distract yourself from your own insecurities. Recognize the reality that you have them. Get your own house in order.

You will then find that you are no longer 'triggered' by other people’s presentation or behavior. You can be at peace, with yourself, and the world…

Love; Louise 😍😘😇