It also occurs to me that many people, women and gay male bottoms, are very sexually excited by a dominant partner, as I think most of us know, from personal experience with narcissist-men, very domineering, controlling. That dynamic makes us, me, and submissive gay men feel overpowered, overwhelmed, by our sexual partner, unable to maintain self-control because the choice has been taken out of my hands… this interaction is very much in play in many lesbian relationships as well…as I have found from personal experience…

The human population, as a whole, are very familiar with this dynamic, hence the “no means yes” question. “She wants it, but she can’t admit it”. This is, in essence, the date-rape scenario, in many cases. “She wants me to overpower her, my brother/friend/uncle told me so”…in some cases that may be true, but I don’t think that it’s possible to really know, in fact, the victim may not know.

One of the problems with the dom/sub relationship dynamic is that it can, and often does, carry over into the relationship outside of sex…

Everyone wants and needs orgasms. If I am too frightened of voluntarily relinquishing control in a mutually supportive encounter, I may need a “dom” to take it out of my hands…

Human relations are fraught with complexities and false assumptions about what the other person “wants” or “needs”. It’s always been this way.

We each navigate life, including sex, in our own ways, on our own paths…

Good Luck!

Peace Love Kindness Respect the more you give the more you get 😍 start with yourself 😉