I was on the road to being stealth. I decided not to.

I’m a 60 year old trans-woman, Desert Storm veteran. Living stealth in the 90s nearly killed me, through drinking and drugs. I couldn’t live, at peace with myself and the world, while being hypervigilant.

I have discovered a strength that I never imagined, since deciding to be 'visible’. An enormous load has lifted from my mind.

Mind you, I certainly don’t announce to everyone I meet, “Hi, my name is Louise. I’m a tranny!”

My twelve step group knows. My neighbors know, though most of them, after being told by one gossipy neighbor, still don’t believe it.

Even living in Greenville NC,(the home of HB2!), my group friends don’t gossip or tell newcomers to the group.

Every now and then, when a creepy man won’t leave me alone, at an AA meeting, I include in my “share” some reference to “when I was a little boy”. It usually gets them to back off, but more often than I expected, it simply turns them on even more…🤭🙄 Some are immediately more determined. Some dissapear for a day or two, then come back, smarmy as ever. That’s when I leave them no doubt about my disinterest. Oh, and there are actual gentlemen who will advise them to mind their manners, occasionally.

It’s a bit of a tricky balance. The “good” people in the group, I think, are not free with the information, but I have explained to them why I need to be, selectively at least, visible. I have full confidence that if they come across a transperson, they will discreetly advise them of my availability. 😍😘😇