I transitioned in 1993, but I am now still on hrt. I never had bottom surgery. My 62nd birthday is next week. I want to give you the benifit of my experience, strength and hope, and perhaps a bit of insight, but it’s time for me to go into “the Hut”, make coffee, set out snacks, etc. (12 step meeting). When I get home I’ll sit down and see what I can come up with 😉❤️🙏🏼 meeting fini😉

Oh wow 😅. How to explain desire, mood, the approach toward good sex, with the new sensitivities…

We’ve all heard that good sex starts in the mind. For women it’s even more true. A good friend of mine, a cis-woman MD, puts it like this: Men — 1. Arousal 2. Orgasm

Women — 1. Desire 2. Arousal 3. Orgasm,(if everything works well, smoothly…)

I suppose I was lucky, coming out in '90s San Diego, and getting some good roommates and neighbors. We were not only rather bohemian but down-right hedonistic.

Even the fully functional men wanted to learn how to have full body orgasms, not just squirting out of the penis. Ahh, the halcyon days of hedonistic Nirvana…

It must start,(considering where you are now), with throwing away all of your habits from before hrt…being more sensitive to how your body feels, not forcing,(even gently), yourself, your desire, then arousal, to travel a path that you have become habituated to over an entire lifetime.

It’s not, with feminine sensibilities, a matter of “steering”, or “guiding” your reactions to sensual stimuli. It’s about relaxing all control and simply feeling it, savouring the sensations.

That’s not to say that you must lie back, unmoving, eyes closed and being stimulated by your partner, but, well, um, (I’m trying to think of how to put it 😅).

Actually, in the beginning, with a knowledgeable partner, it would be best to do that, in order to feel the new sensations and become familiar with them, get a “good hold” on them…but, again, a masculine sort of 'grip' won’t do at all. It’s accepting each blend of feelings, cradling them, allowing them to become a part of you.

Sexual, sensual, feelings, as a woman, can’t be strictly categorized and filed away. It’s more of an acceptance, perhaps thought of as a new friend that you, to your surprise,(and great delight), find that you have a natural affinity for…As you accept them, “new” though they might be, finding that these feelings can, if you embrace them, take you places you’ve never been before.

Back to the “relaxed acceptance”, allowing feelings to overcome you… That, in it’s crudest, most base, form, is where submissiveness becomes a sexual thing, hence the 'rape-fantasies' that you may have heard whispered about, very occasionally.

Many, many women, and men, feel that in this patriarchal dominance hierarchy we struggle with, self-control becomes our default modus operandi, making it difficult to submit to anyone or anything.

That deeply ingrained, habitual, self-control is very difficult to let go of. It may be our means of survival, in almost every other part of our lives.

Even a Vagitarian,(lesbian), who is butch, dominant, has already, usually at much too young an age, been forced into submission, and is quite intimate with allowing feelings to take control, to a certain extent. At least enough to orgasm.

Anyone who derives sexual joy from inflicting actual cruelty, is a sick person,(almost always having been sexually abused as a child)…but even in those cases, safe-words, and kindness outside of sexual play can make it work with a couple.

Oh crap 😂

I have a lot of experience, and I’m wandering all over the place. I hope you got something out of that.

Seriously though, if you have any questions, please contact me on Facebook, I’m Louise Carole Sumrell.

You’re going to be okay 😉. It’s a journey that takes time, but you’re going to make it.

❤️🙏🏼

PS: It just occurred to me that I never even mentioned erections 😉🤣 I’ve occasionally had one, when I was super turned on, but with all of the new ways to experience sensuality and orgasm, it’s just not important.

Remember? Throw away your habits, expectations, from when you were operating on a high level of testosterone. Don’t be afraid. Sex can be even better 😜. I promise.