I suppose that I’m a product of my generation, in some critical aspects. I was born in 1958.

I have been on HRT, with a short break in the early 2000s, for many years. I haven’t had bottom surgery.

(oh! I’m MtoF).

Besides questions of heart and lung health, I just have never been obsessed with vaginoplasty. Sometimes I think that it would be nice, but my friends and lovers have never made it an issue.

I’m quite comfortable being who I am, finally, and don’t feel any need to go any further. Passing is, or has been, very important to me, though I’m not hyper-focused on it anymore.

I do, however, pass quite well, with no anxiety, and no more self-consciousness than the average person, I think.

Some time ago, I realized that what I really had been needing, searching for, was peace. Peace with myself, and peace with the world.

I have, finally, achieved that goal, and no longer feel driven.

I do sympathize, greatly, with different ideas of gender feeling and expression. I remember the angst, frustration, and feeling driven to accomplish my goal, in my youth.

Finally, I do, very much encourage everyone to strive, boldly for the peace that I have found, goals changing, being reconstructed, bit by unexpected bit, until you can truly relax, not “settling”, but becoming comfortable, with yourself and your place in the world… Feel your way, only thinking and strategizing when planning your next accomplishment, then relaxing, seeing if you are comfortable, at peace. If you find that you are not “there” yet, if the temperature of the soup is not “just right”, relax, feel your way to the next step.

I have found that, for me, mindfulness meditation is a good way to explore, without “pushing” it.

😍😘😇

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