I know that everyone hates this statement; time takes time....
I transitioned in 1993 San Diego, and I now live in NC.
I was a call girl in San Diego for several years. I genuinely hated it and was driven to a suicide attempt.
I passed almost immediately and have been sexually harassed, catcalled, ignored, talked over and generally given the full patriarchal dominance hierarchy treatment, including rape.
I was raised by a widowed mother and three older sisters and was a physically pretty, and very effeminate boy.
I still couldn't gather the courage to transition until the age of 34, after being kicked out of the USNavy for being a crossdresser.
At just a couple of weeks til my 63rd birthday, I'm a mostly butch lesbian. Young women flirt with me on a daily basis. Older, more financially secure women try to 'take me hostage'.
I haven't felt the "spark", the connection, yet, and it's okay if I don't.
I have at least a thousand lesbian friends on Facebook and belong to at least a dozen lesbian-only FB groups.
I also belong to a dozen or so transgender woman groups.
It just occurred to me an hour or so ago that my trans-woman friends don't participate in the lesbian or LGBTQ, all inclusive, groups, at least very rarely.
I've come to see that there's a certain quality or deep understanding of women who have undergone the same experiences, for decades, that most transgender women don't have.
I'm not saying that it makes anyone 'above', or 'better than', anyone else, but it is a thing. At some point it becomes obvious.
There's something about living with male privilege and then not truly experiencing the full range of indignities that women deal with every day of their lives, or at least not for an extended period of years.... Having that lack of real, long term experience, leaves a trans-woman with no possible way to truly understand what it's like to be a woman in society.
I'm sure that there are some women who are my lesbian FB friends that simply don't know that I'm trans, but the vast majority do know. I have posted a short version of my story a half dozen times over the last four or five years. At this point I just don't think it's worth posting again...
I don't point this out to disparage or discourage anyone. I know, personally, the driving, unrelenting, existential need to transition. I felt it myself for the first half of my life.
Don't despair though, there are women out there who are interested in transwomen, and don't care about the experience I mentioned, but they are few and far between.
Keep looking. Don't give up, but don't expect success on the standard sort of lesbian dating site.
There are sites, and at least one FB group, that cater to the kind of connection that you are looking for.
Always remember;
Peace Love Kindness Respect the more you give the more you get 😍 start with yourself 😉 because you deserve it ❤️🙏🏼 (you really do. I promise.)
--weezi--💜🌈🙏🏼🦄🥳🎉🥰❣️🌻😁