I have never cared much for porn.

I can relate to it keeping the feeling going, if it’s already there, but, for me, even that is only occasionally.

However, I have a pretty fucked up relationship with sex, having been born a trans woman, then being a call-girl for several years.

I am sober and clean for nearly a year now. I’m working with my sponsor,(mentor), to stop my 'old behaviors’.

This is all further complicated by my demi sexual nature.

I got in a very ingrained habit of seeing sex as a 'chore’, a 'performance’, used to manipulate men. When I retired from selling my ass, my dignity, I was so thoroughly disgusted with sex, that I didn’t have any kind of sex, with anybody, not even myself, for twenty years. The maximum dose of effexor that I was on, for Major Depressive Disorder and Major Anxiety Disorder was, surely, complicit in that lack of desire.

My knee-jerk reaction, when a man expresses interest in me is, “Ok Weezie, the game is afoot!”

I’m a liar and a manipulator, and men are sooo easy.😥

I glad that you are enjoying your sensuality, your delight in your humanity.

Perhaps I’ll get there, someday. I love and respect my sponsor, and she says that it’s not too late for me. I have to believe her.

😍😘😇🙏