I guess it depends on a lot of things, the transperson and the person that they are talking to.

I recently cut my hair off. I almost never wear a bra, I’m an obvious B-cup.

A friend in my AA group asked me last night if I was okay. He said, “You’re looking more like “Buddy” these days. I’ve done some research on transwomen and I learned that sometimes there are regrets, depression, etc…are you doing alright?”

Now, taken at face value, that may seem invasive and rude, but just hang on a sec.

I’ve been going there for about four years now. This man was formerly a typical “toxic male”. He felt threatened by me because, well, the same reason all toxic males feel threatened by a trans-woman.

I’ve watched him grow, emotionally and spiritually. He embraced the admonition against “contempt prior to investigation”, has learned to meditate, and just generally become more of a whole person.

If someone I didn’t know asked me something like that, it would simply be none of their business.

When he asked, and showed that he sees me as a friend, worthy of care and respect, I can easily overlook any “stumbling” over proper phrasing or wording.

BTW, I told him that I’m good, really good, in fact. I just don’t feel the need to be “lined up” with the patriarchal gender binary any more.

At which point he put up a hand and said, “I don’t know anything about that, I just wanted to make sure that you’re okay.”

There’s always a “give and take” when dealing with people. Rather than just reacting, being “triggered” by a,(perceived), “insult", I recognized that he was inquiring out of a genuine concern for my well-being. If I’d had a knee-jerk reaction to a perceived insult, hard feelings would have been the result. As it happened, I quieted my mind and just listened, giving him the benefit of the doubt, some understanding, and a beautiful, if minor, moment occurred.

Patience and understanding is a necessity.

Compassion is always the goal.🙏

--weezi--💖🙏🏼💜🙏🥳