I don’t know what to say. I think that it may have to do with self acceptance, or acclimatization, but I can’t say for sure.

You put me in mind of a day in my early teens, maybe 13(?). I went, with two other boys, to a neighbor’s house. The parents were out of town for the weekend. The two sisters, who were our age, were home alone.

As one of the sisters went to a bedroom with one of the boys, I and the other sister sat at the dining room table…talking about hair and nails and various “femine” topics of conversation.Then the other sister went to the bedroom with the other boy and and I and the first sister caught up on the previous conversation and continued. Oh! And our mutual crushes on a neighborhood boy who 'matured' faster than the others. 🙄😂

(I’ll have to write an essay about an experience I had with him…)

I had grown up with no father, but a mother and three older sisters…

At this point I must point out that, in my life, in conversation with other women, I’ve heard quite a few cis-women express feelings exactly like yours. In fact, if you explore a bit right here on Medium, you can read essays by the cis-women, and afab trans-masc enbies, who have had the same “problem”.

It’ll be okay, because it’s really okay to just be yourself, no apologies, no excuses. Who we are…changes. We change as we learn, hopefully to grow, gentler, kinder, more compassionate,(with firm boundaries 😉).

I find Tibetan Buddhism to be very helpful. I’ve learned a great deal from Venerable Thubten Chodron, Pema Chodron and Gelong Thubten, on YouTube.

You are perfect, just being you.

Peace Love Kindness Respect the more you give the more you get 😍 start with yourself 😉 because you deserve it ❤️🙏🏼

--weezi--💖🙏🏼💜🙏🏼🦄🥳🎉🥰